![]() All they want is for me to be around to do things for them. Why do I keep trying to make them happy? They are so terrible. I told them no so now they aren’t going to talk to me until they need me again the next time. They aren’t responding to me now that I told them no anyway. I can’t cook, clean, take care of the kids, hold a job, finish school, be a good wife, etc. It’s a total disaster because I’m a horrible homemaker. You ignore me and then you ask me to just get up and go to the store with you? What kind of person does that? I’m busy today anyway. They want me to go to the store with them. Why can’t I just be normal and get along with everyone! I can’t go on knowing they are mad at me. Oh my gosh, they didn’t answer my phone call. Wait, I haven’t heard back from them yet. Here I am, bending over backwards for these people and they couldn’t care less! I’m so done with them. I mean, why would anyone be mean to me? How could anyone not like me? I go above and beyond for everyone. They can ask me to do anything and I will do it. They tolerate me because I’m nice to them and I help them if needed. How could they? I don’t even love myself. self-compassion.How is today going to go? How are my moods going to be? How are the people in my life going to act towards me today? How am I going to perceive the people in my life who interact with me today? Are they just being nice to me because they want something? Are they being condescending? Are they just pretending to care like everyone else? No one really loves me. If you’re having trouble doing that for yourself, think of what you’d say to them if they were in your shoes, and give yourself the gentleness you deserve. Ultimately self-compassion is just like the compassion you’d show toward your friends, your family, your coworkers, and ideally anyone else you encounter in your daily life - identifying with their experience, sympathizing with their emotions, allowing them the grace to rebound. We cannot ignore our emotional experiences instead, we can benefit from observing them, recognizing them for what they are, and allowing them to pass. While your experience may be unique in many ways, know that you are not the only one with a difficult path ahead and that difficult times are temporary.įinally, mindfulness can create a sense of emotional balance - acknowledging and appreciating both the highs and lows in life, while not allowing those emotions, especially the negative, to be all-consuming. When we become rigid, frustrated, and critical, our stress levels rise and our overall health suffers.īeing self-compassionate also involves recognizing that pain, suffering, difficulty are all part of the human experience we are not alone in our troubles, and it can be beneficial to take solace in that fact. People who are kind to themselves, rather than judgmental, approach failures and difficult times with sympathy and a gentleness, knowing that setbacks are inevitable. Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as having three parts: self-kindness not self-judgment, common humanity not isolation, and mindfulness not over-identification. Those kind words are sometimes referred to as self-compassion.ĭr. In a world where our every move can be documented, and a society where “busy” is the gold standard, we could all use a kind word, especially from our internal monologue. ![]() ![]() Unfortunately, for many, that phrase is all too true.
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